if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
