that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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