Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
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