Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
