Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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