Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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