Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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