Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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