We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
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