You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Maybe he injected his testicle?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
