the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
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