my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
