My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
