idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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