If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
