apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
