You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I love you. Go after that dick
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
