Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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