I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
