i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
