R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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