Quick, to the slutcave!
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Randomize
