my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
