so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
