So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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