Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
