I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
