so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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