let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize