her vagine was all disorganized.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
