i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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