i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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