sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
