I hate all girls vehemently.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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