Tell her she can't have a vagina
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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