shes about as inviting as chlamydia
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
