If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
