they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
