Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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