I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Who died my cat blue again?
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
