I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Randomize
