So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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