i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Randomize
