what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize
