Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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