so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I just want to make out with him forever
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
