If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
