I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
