What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
he was CRYING into my vagina
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
