That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
