What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
