if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Randomize
