This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i wish my penis had a tongue
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
